I had the absolute pleasure of attending the NEU Trans and Non-Binary residential this week and was asked by the organisers if I would do a write up for the website. We spent two incredible days in London with thirty educators from all over the country and all parts of the trans umbrella. We did so many different things that if I was to try and write about all of it I wouldn’t be able to do any of it justice, so I’ve decided to focus on what I think was our group’s favourite activity: The Museum of Transology.

We even had digital submissions! People who hadn’t known what to submit previously saw the museum and were inspired to send things to our WhatsApp group. There was my submission, the FrankenBoob pillow, born from my breast reduction surgery due to back issues six years ago. This was before I had any idea that non-binary was even a thing, but having that surgery was an important step as it meant that I could actually buy and experiment with masculine clothing as it would actually button up and fit me. After that surgery, I had a lot of bras that no longer fit, which I gave to my friend who is a talented seamstress. She created a patchwork pillow out of them all and despite the fact that it’s very oddly shaped because the fabric that was designed to be curved didn’t want to lay flat and a kaleidoscope mismatch of patterns, it’s still a very special item to both of us and we love it all the more because of it.

Another caption, attached to a photograph of this person’s guitar, reads, “In my late teens and early 20’s I was in a band that toured pretty extensively around the UK and Europe. This included a lot of small ignorant towns where, as a Black queer person, I encountered a lot of homophobia and racism. Thing is, once I got on stage and started playing, I took back the narrative and people had to listen and judge me by my art and not their prejudice. When I had my guitar on, I felt powerful and in control of my image”

However, the final submission which bowled us all over was a poem called “Blessed Are You O Lord” This participant wrote this poem after being kicked out of their church. They were inspired by Jewish 14th Century Philosopher Kalonymous ben Kalonymous’s poem “Even Bohan”. Reading this poem today definitely leads us to believe that Kalonymous ben Kalonymous was a trans woman, but obviously it’s difficult for us to put these labels on people from the past. I highly recommend you go and read the original here

In summary, both our participant’s poem and Even Bohan start by wrestling with the gender roles they were given at birth, our participant saying

“Today I would rest with my mother, Would talk a while of the nature of a woman's life, our things. On another I would wish for all the world to walk as an equal with my father, To look like my brother, And still always to be me.” and with Kalonymous outright cursing the person who declared “it’s a boy” when they were born, but throughout their poems both writers come to the conclusion that their trans identity is a gift from God. God made us this way for a reason. Our participant ends their poem,

“But if, Lord, you have given me this form as blessing and not curse, and declared to give this insufficiency of body and language, Then I do not wish to reject it. And so, as I have read, And as is our tradition, I will bless both the good and the bitter: Blesséd are you O Lord Who has not made me a man, And has not made me a woman.”

Despite the fact that we did silent BSL applause to be more autism friendly, there was still a wave of emotion in the room after that poem was read. In fact, the quiet added to the experience. Joy, awe and reverence built to a crescendo as we all took a piece of that poem to heart. Most trans people have felt that our trans identity was a problem at some point, an issue to be dealt with by our schools, causing tension in our families, potentially leading to us losing friends, but this poem showed us something else. We were a group of many faiths and none, so we all took this idea of a blessing from God a little differently, but we all felt it all the same. That our transness was a gift, something spiritual, something beautiful to be celebrated and not to be hidden away.

This experience, both the museum and the residential as a whole, really helped me connect to my own identity and find an incredible group of people to share that journey with and help me on the way. I both found role models for the person I want to be further on in my life and my journey and also helped those perhaps further behind me on the path to keep walking. After the event, one participant said “In what is a hostile and dark environment for trans and non-binary people in the UK at the moment, the residential felt light a ray of light and warmth. It was wonderful to be among so many other people like me and know that I’m not alone in the fight” I cannot wait for the next event like this I can attend. TNB Residential 2023, I love you all and miss you deeply.